The Mighty Mini: A Tale of Road Safety

cerritomama

A nervous man with brown hair and glasses named Stan is driving in a tiny white mini cooper. The street is full of MUCH LARGER pickup trucks and SUVs that are towering over him and speeding past him in a residential neighborhood.
Stan: Yikes! These giants are going to squash me!
Stan is in a garage. His little white mini cooper has saw blades attached to the doors and roof, and he is mounting a large jousting sword to the front of the car.
Stan: Time to turn my mini into a mighty machine!
The white mini cooper, now with saw blades attached to the doors and roof and huge jousting sword, rolls onto the road. The SUV and pickup truck gives it a wide berth.
SUV Driver: I've never seen a safety feature like that!
Truck Driver: Whoa! Give that car some space!
A concerned lady pushing a stroller with her hair pulled back in a pony tail, is about to cross the street in front of the white mini cooper, now with saw blades attached to the doors and roof and a large joisting sword mounted in front.
Lady with Stroller: Um...what is that?
Stan looks out the window of the white mini cooper he is driving as it comes towards the lady with stroller crossing the street. The mini cooper has saw blades attached to the doors and roof and a large joisting sword mounted in front. Stan gulps nervously as the sword points towards the lady with stroller.
Stan: This car has a perfect safety rating!
Lady with Stroller: Safe for who?